Thursday thoughts #10: on being a rescue dog mom
I have been glued to the Instagram account simonsits for the better part of three weeks, and consistently over the past few of years. The person behind the account, Isabel, is an angel of a human who started it when she rescued her dog Simon, and lately has been chronicling her adventures in fostering complex rescues with medical and/or social issues. I believe every dog she has fostered has gone on to be adopted into loving families (many of whom are Muddy Paws alums, an organization I’ve been lucky to volunteer for in the past). I cry almost every time I watch her videos, especially since she took in an extremely shut down foster named Tiki. His background couldn’t even be shared publicly, because of (I think?) a police investigation. She shares updates about him every day, and he has so many similarities to Peanut when I first adopted her (hence the crying). He has made so much progress, and I think on day 13 or 14 he finally let her pet him for the first time. Stop it right now I’m crying again. I look forward to her updates every day, so thought I’d write a bit about what it’s like to have rescue a dog like Tiki (and Peanut!).
this was from our engagement photo shoot. I mean…
A little about my sweetie girl
I adopted Peanut in 2017 from a small rescue organization - they used to have events in Union Square or in the Petco Union Square every Saturday - after they rescued her from a puppy mill. She wasn’t a puppy, she was about three years old, but was used as a breeding dog for much of her life. It is worse than it sounds - dogs living in cages, abused, and bred nonstop so their puppies can be sold at pet stores - until the despicable humans running the mills are done with them. It fills me with rage every time I think about it. I didn’t think much about adopting such a challenging dog because, quite frankly, I didn’t know the extent of her trauma or how hard it would be. I did know that we were meant to be together, and that we would figure it out.
If you’ve watched the Tiki videos I linked to, Peanut was similar to Tiki in that she would not leave one particular spot in my apartment for a long time. It was where she felt safe, and I didn’t push her to do much of anything else while inside. I would watch TV on my carpet to be closer to her at night, but didn’t try to move her from her spot. She did accumulate a collection of my shoes and socks to keep around her, though. When I’d get into bed, sometimes she would be curious and walk over to me, then scurry back to her spot. It was so cute and hopeful. Maybe 3-4 weeks after I got her, she walked across the room (I had a studio apartment) for the first time. Here is the photo from that moment - doesn’t she look so brave and proud of herself?
look at her little face and how proud she is
The importance of advocating
Peanut was and is really sensitive to loud noises and sudden movements, and therefore I have become sensitive to loud noises and sudden movements. Things that other dogs may not care about - objects blowing in the wind, loud trucks, dropping things on the ground, the act of throwing something (the arm movement really bothers her), very excited dogs, kids or puppies, etc. - terrify Peanut. I’m very protective about this and am not shy about asking people not to do things around her that I know will freak her out. Since she is so cute, a lot of people and kids want to pet her, and I usually tell them that she’s really shy, but she’ll smell your hand (or I’ll say no if I get a weird vibe). I feel no shame in doing any of this - dogs can’t advocate for themselves, they rely on us to protect them.
On building her confidence
I will admit I didn’t know much about adopting a dog like Peanut, but I did A LOT of reading (though I wish an account like Isabel’s was available at the time, it is so helpful). One thing I knew we had to work on was her confidence. I did a couple of things that really helped her become more brave.
I took her to an adult dog training class - this was offered at our local Petco and I think was about six weeks long. There were only 1-2 other dogs enrolled, and they often didn’t show up, so we mostly worked alone with the trainer they had. She was great and Peanut learned basic commands - sit, wait, leave it (though she still needs to work on that when there are tasty morsels on the street), and come. There was an obvious change in her confidence by the end of the class, and I’m so glad we did it.
I gave her high quality treats to encourage bravery - Peanut was scared to say hi to people (especially men) and dogs outside on our walks, so I started bringing a string cheese with me. Every time she was brave and said hi, she would get a small piece of cheese. Peanut, it turned out, is pretty food motivated and this worked really well. She would also stop a lot on our walks because she was scared or various things, and the cheese helped her learn to get over other fears outside too.
We went on long walks in the park - the first time Peanut wagged her tail was in Central Park. The city streets can be overwhelming to any dog, and especially Peanut, so I think being in the park allowed her to feel more relaxed and to smell all the things. We would wander for hours - we still do! - and it was really really beneficial for our bonding. That’s why it breaks my heart seeing people glued to their phones, headphones on and ignoring their dogs while out walking - they are missing out on so much.
training class graduation
I also messed up a lot
Getting a shut down, traumatized dog to trust you takes a lot of time and patience. Even little missteps can break their trust, and I definitely had my share of them. Pushing a little too much, not fully recognizing discomfort, not respecting or understanding boundaries, it happens. Dogs, even ones like Peanut, are resilient and trust can be rebuilt with time, love and gentleness. I know so much more now then I did when I first got her, and while I’m glad about that, I do beat myself up about how I could have done things a little differently with her at times. But, you live and you learn. Plus, she is a very happy and loved dog, if I do say so myself.
I’ll end this by saying/asking/begging/pleading: adopt don’t shop. Purchasing at a pet store directly supports puppy mills like the one that abused Peanut.
Thanks for reading :)
Take good care,
Kelly